An elegant faggot of old residence leaves the city for the South where predators are broken in ranks and the prey that gets caught is the oldest and ugliest. Everyone wants they should get their share. The old faggot is known as a catcher and a pitcher and he’s infamous in the homosexual underworld of iniquity and cash transactions, the obvious example of “new money” buffeted by the rank of rich fag. The city the elegant fag comes to is a broken down town that once mined or farmed or slaveheld or did whatever those Southern cities did before the collapse. There’s a ghost that haunts the mansions, or maybe several ghosts, all of which are eager for revenge and several children just disappear every year. The main street is full of drugstores, yarn stores, button stores, tobacco shops, liquor stores, and tax shelter left wing non-affiliated undeserved ugly brick window two time loser stores. The mansions are on the north side, many dating back to the Civil War but none before because the town was burned by Sherman’s army. The billboard advertises a steak restaurant but this is covered by graffiti, a corpse on a rope and the words, “Nigger, don’t let the sun set on you here.”
So the elegant faggot strides into town with a manservant carting his carry-all field box. He goes straight to the hotel and requests the best room available. The Southerners gather up a lynch mob in the middle of the night after news breaks and they show up at the hotel with a noose ready and torches in their hands. Well the faggot sends out the hotel desk clerk and he gets beaten severely for protecting the faggot. Then he sends out the manservant, a Jamaican man who escaped what he thought was tyranny and was now sentenced to a lifetime of manual labor as the faggot’s right hand man. The manservant’s got himself a full saber that he’s had imported from Korea at the cost of four weeks' pay.
“Don’t nobody come up here,” he said in his suffering English. “This man eats people for fun, that’s just what he does. Does he? Fuck. You’re all goners now because he’s coming down and he’s pissed.”
Well the crowd doesn’t break up, it just shifts from foot to foot. And then the faggot is on the balcony urinating on the crowd and they show teeth, eager to get at this impertinent fag that has the nerve to come South, in this day and age, with all that’s known about tolerance and community. The crowd rushes up the stairs, throwing the manservant aside, and enter the room of the elegant fag.
“Well that’s your mistake,” he says bluntly as he presents his secret weapon, a pair of legs and ass that has no torso but a long spine extending out of the flesh up to a loose pile of flesh. The spine is bent with the weight and hangs in front of the ass. “There’s enough juice left in this thing’s brain stem to last it for at least five more years. I’ve been assured such by the best doctors on the continent and there’ll be hell to pay if he drops dead a minute before then.”
The townspeople stare at the two figures in front of them, the elegant fag in continental dress, face painted; and the standing asshole before them. Action is considered, a question worried over by the whole mass of the congregation. Then, before they can act, the asshole swells up and shoots a load of shit across the room at a terrific speed, the power of an artillery barrage, a blast of shit taking out two men at once from the crowd. The crowd hesitates, shocked, and then begins to advance. The asshole goes into overtime, pounding out shots of shit, tearing the crowd apart one by one. When there’s only half of the crowd left, they begin to panic and try to escape. But now the manservant is at the door and he’s cutting his own wrists in front of everyone. His blood shoots in fountains and he laughs horribly, screaming out, “We’re all HIV positive on the island! It’s a present from our good Uncle Sam!”
And then the crowd has been reduced to three standing members, the smell of shit overpowering the faggot’s perfume, and the three survivors are scared. The group mentality led them to what should have been an easy lynching, just like all the previous ones, but now they know they’ve been bested by a faggot and a nigger and they want to escape. There is also a loose ape in the town, he was formerly a school teacher but was ousted for teaching the theory of evolution, clearly a proprietary act, a form of bragging. But he’s turned feral since being evicted from his apartment and he’s been known to carry off his former students, particularly the ones that performed well in school. The ape swings into the room through the window and immediately attacks the three remaining mob members.