Spied robins in corner stores, cavorting in anguish over half-hatched eggs. There's a mad dash, a panic, and the subway implodes. Brown irrigation strips hang from ceilings, flies caught in them, as mousetrap shredders glean new messages from twisted media. Media made of marshmallows, celebrity rape trials and the murder of a former prom queen. The cheerleaders line up after the game, waiting for the team captain to pick one. The lucky girl picked ends up with all the semen of the team in her cunt.
"And does that bother you?" New Suit asks his guest. "In terms of procreation, that is a fuck of a lot of sperm, isn't it?"
Viceroy shifts uncomfortably in his seat and expresses a desire to fart.
"Fart?" New Suit shoots back. "This ain't no car in a god damn Taco Bell drive-thru. You'd best square yourself away here because this program goes nationally."
Production assistant runs in from the side of the stage and whispers to Viceroy that the game show section is ready to begin.
"He's here right now?" Viceroy asks nervously.

The audience is made up of demons and sprites, nymphs, hobgoblins. One demon seems to be in charge and he orders the other demons to attack the only two members of the audience that are human, the Viceroy's ailing parents. Their throats are slit in double quick fashion and the blood splatters the demons and assorted creatures. Fat demon turns to thin wood sprite and says, "Used to be we only got the blood spray at bad rap concerts."
"Shut your fat mouth, you damn piece of shit," the sprite shoots back and then is quickly swallowed by the large demon.

"You know what you have to do?" the production assistant asks Viceroy. "I hope you understand what you've gotten into. If you don't know the answer, that man is likely to go to commercial and come over here and punch your fucking jaw loose."

Cut to commercial: "America is going out of business! The poor, the wretched, the huddled masses are being sold off in open auction! One time only, this is a limited offer! You want God? We've got God! God is owned by America and has blessed all America's battles! How about homeless? You want ethics? Ethics are going FAST and we are LIQUIDATING the whole moral code! How about world opinion? That's a nice accessory, isn't it? I think you're gonna love this. We're selling America's prestige by the pound!

"You want sex? Sex sells. This is one of those spend money to make money situations and America is all about making money. So we're selling off America's sex for pennies on the dollar! No need to practice safe sex, we have the safest sex of all: Moral, controlled, abbreviated, unfulfilling monogamy forced by societal standards! No polyamory leanings in the heartland, they don't even know there are positions besides missionary! That's something you're not going to see in Europe! You want amber waves of grain? How about some purple mountain's majesty? We're selling the whole kit and caboodle in five easy payments. You can pick and choose which rules to follow (some skin colors excluded)!

"You want equality? Well we patented the idea! America is the great melting pot and the cream always rises to the top. Some restrictions apply for niggers, women, disabled, the elderly, poor of all races, and non-Christians. You want oil? How about native Americans? There are very few left in stock but we keep them sedated with alcohol and give them plenty of parts in movies glorifying the white man's burden. For no extra charge, we have excised the entire genocide incident!

"You can order by phone for rushed delivery of all America has to offer, from the shores of Tripoli to the trailer parks in Alabama. We have white supremacists, black supremacists, gang bangers, porn stars, violent talk shows, violent media, sex sex sex! We have corruption and greed, we have pure hatred and celebrity obsession! We have politically correct racism and homophobia! We have seminars built around empowering the most spoiled civilization in the world and our employment rate continues to drop! You'd better be quick on this because now the station manager has received word from the president that the nation will begin ethnic cleansing until every last bit is sold off! Don't delay, change your world today by owning the last best hope of civilization!"