And She Was

One morning she was
Awake like crushed diamonds
Lighting in a million pin pricks
Of weed-eaten cars
Age twelve
Growing pains and ugly rejections

And one morning she was
And she said,
"I see potential”
Love as investment
(W)hole heart commodities
Bridal
Though not virginal
We had been over it and over it
Scavenging vultures
Some birds mate while flying
Or
Falling from the sky

And one morning she was
Wind blew through the window
In sobs
I learned the rules of junk bonds
It was the year winter came twice
Three times
Lasted for years
And I stopped feeling anything real

And one morning she was
She veiled her threats
She dripped sarcasm
She winked acknowledgement
And I can't understand
Because all girls talk in codes
And I lack the necessary cyphers
I'm a stretched canvas
To paint how you like
And then get angry at me
When I take another shape
Or bargain pieces of myself
To keep the cold away
No more standing
On a rocking ship's deck

And one morning she was
Waking up, life skips
Well worn
Along ruts
It goes on as long as you'll let it
I tried to be sincere as a bird of prey
Then I finally expelled her
In angry, worn holes of rot

And she was
A shining star
Beckoning
Bleeding in a way
That only stars can
Because the tide goes out once a day
But it also comes in