I've got two letters in my hand
One is from my ex
And it says I'm the kind of guy that doesn't understand
The other's addressed to myself
The handwriting's messy
And the punctuation's missing as well
It says I'm the type of man
That can't be lived with
I have another letter in a drawer
Carrying dust as fragrance
It says "I love you but you really have to give more"
An email sits in my inbox
That says I never say grace
It's why I always keep my door locked
And there are pills in a bottle
That has my name on the face
Every night I still swallow
And hope I forget how to taste
I got a call one night
"Meet me at the side of a coffee shop"
You called a truce in our silent fight
So we put tourniquets on to make the bleeding stop
We went on a date together without a first kiss
We never collected labels
Without talking about this
"You need to stand for something
Not against everything"
She calmly stated this one night
And I said something about the sum not equaling the parts
Reach exceeding grasp
And starting again with the false starts
Thought I could hide in the closet with the bugs
But I couldn't keep up with the pace
Now I wait for my parents to leave
So I can collect the pieces
And rebuild my life as a broken vase
I've got two letters in my pocket
One of them is addressed to my other self
It says "You're sinking under the weight of a ring"
That's a key to a memory
Like a ring of keys that only opens the wrong door
And there's a carpet beneath me but I can still feel the floor
There's a black mark against me
For those keeping score
And nobody really listens to me that well
I talk and I talk
Especially about myself
About how I'm sick and I'm tired
I'm a broken pipe
Filled with sparking wires
My blood is electric
All my cars are parking
In spaces marked for others
I'm a placeholder of a salesman
And the wires are loose like threads
I've got a heart like a question mark
This website's my toe tag
You met me after I was dead
Sometimes I dream I can fly
But I'm not actually moving forward
I dream every night that I die
And I wake up disappointed that dreams are wishes
And my heart wishes against me